I'm Not Trying To Lose Weight

Warning: This post is a bit of a rant... Consider yourselves warned.

I'm not trying to lose weight. I hate it when people, especially health and fitness professionals, ask me if I am. If friends at work or church ask me if I am trying to lose weight I don't mind as much because they don't know any better. A doctor, however, should know that a person can be at their ideal weight, or even underweight, and still not be healthy.

I'm trying to get fit. I'm training for endurance races - 10Ks, half marathons, marathons, and Ironman races. Yes, because of my excess body fat, losing weight is a crucial part of my training, but it is not my end goal. I will be at a supposed "ideal weight" long before I complete a marathon or Ironman triathlon.

I don't mind if people ask me how much I have weight I have lost. In fact, I kind of like it! Call it arrogant, but I have lost 86lbs so far and I am proud of that! I've also completed four 5Ks, and a sprint triathlon. Yay me! As my waist has grown over the years I've refused to get rid of my clothes because I kept telling myself that I would shrink back into them, and now, even they are too big!

I'm the smallest and healthiest I have ever been in my adult life. I am not the lightest. I am okay with that.

The scale has no power over me, nor should it have power over you.

/end rant.

My Third Lung

Being a triathlete (it's still weird thinking of myself that way!) there are three different sports that I do on a weekly basis to increase endurance and athleticism.  Four if you include weight or resistance training, which you absolutely should!  Depending on my workout, there are several different prep routines I have to make sure that I can maximize that workout, but one thing that is common to all of them is O2 Gold - aka, my third lung.

O2 Gold is one of my favorite AdvoCare products and it helps boost endurance by helping your muscles utilize oxygen much better than without it.  It's helps be run, bike, and swim longer and harder.

The other day, I forgot to take my O2 Gold before my workout.  You're supposed to take it about an hour before so it can get into your bloodstream.  I thought to myself, "Oh well, this will be an easier workout" focusing primarily on technique rather than stamina (I was in the pool that night.).  Much to my chagrin, I could tell a HUGE difference in my endurance!  Usually I can get 3-4 lengths of the pool (1.5-2 laps) before I need to stop and catch my breath.  (I still haven't figured out how to slow down or pace myself in the pool so I can keep going rather than just stop.)  I was also much more sore during that workout than I have ever been in the water before - not to mention how sore I was the next day!

I didn't used to use it before a resistance workout, but since that day I have started using it and I've noticed that, similar to bikes, runs and swims, I can work out harder and longer without a break, AND I'm not as sore the next day!

Needless to say, I'm a huge fan of O2 Gold and it's something that I will NEVER quit using!

The Long Mile

I find that a lot of people think that I'm more fit than I actually am.  I tried to figure out why and I think it's because I say things like I ran x number of miles, or swam a certain number of laps. It was never my intention to mislead, but when I tell people that I still can't run a full mile without stopping to walk, they are surprised.

When I first started this journey from fat to fit I had a list of things I wanted to accomplish.  Things I could check off as I did them.  I've been able to check off a good number of things, but there are certain steps that I've skipped, or moved on from as I did other things.

One of those was to run a mile without stopping.

I've done three 5K's, each one better than the last and one sprint triathlon all without being able to run a full mile.

Until today.

I have one more race this year.  A 5K with some friends from church on Thanksgiving Day.  My goal was to be able to run a full mile before the race.  I didn't think it would happen until much closer to the race - a few more weeks from now, but during my lunch break, today at work, I did it!

I ran during my lunch with the mindset of just pacing myself and running as far as I could before stoppping to walk.  I had my GPS MapMyRun app going to track my progress.  Around mile marker .68 I wasn't sure how I was going to keep going, then I figured I was already over half way to a full mile, so I might as well keep going.  When I finally did start walking, it was at mile 1.12, and only walked for around 100 yards.  Maybe 150, then finished the 250(ish) yards remaining.

I felt strong when I finished.  I felt good.

But I didn't feel like an athlete, or a runner.

I always thought I would consider myself an athlete when I could run a mile without stopping.

Now that I did that, I still have a hard time thinking of myself as an athlete.

Maybe some day. :-)

What am I running from?

Several months ago a friend posted a picture on my facebook wall.  The caption said the only reason to run is if you are being chased.  Whenever I see or think about it, it reminds me exactly what I'm running from.

I'm running from the grim reaper. From an early, slow, painful death.

Or worse, I'm running from growing old and out-growing my mobility and independence.

I'm running from painful knees at 27.

I'm running from joint-replacement surgery.

I'm running from a life of being ashamed what I've done to my body.

I'm running from a life of unreached dreams.

I'm running from a habit of settling for 'good enough'.

There's a lot I'm running from, and even more I'm running toward, and even though I've already logged many miles running, there are still many more to come.

Sprint Triathlon - My Ironman

Yesterday I finally got the official results for the sprint triathlon I did this weekend. The race was long and hard for me, yet incredibly fun! At the end I was proud, relieved, and in pain. I'm ready to do another one as soon as tri season is back up and running!

The clock read 2:27:ish. I ran to the finish line dead last, but still finishing strong. The last person passed me about a quarter mile into mile 3 (I think), and after that, it was just the medical golf cart and me. My diaphragm was screaming but nothing else really hurt so I ran as much as my lungs would let me and then I would stop and catch my breath. I'm reading a book by Chrissie Wellington - a British professional triathelete, and she said that after you get off the bike in a race, your legs feel like jelly for the first few minute, then feel like lead for the rest of the race. She hit the nail on the head!

Setting up the transition was an experience. I chatted and talked with those setting up around me and realized that most people in the race were first timers like me. That surprised me! I thought most people would be seasoned vets as this race was the last in a series of 8 sprint triathlons. Earlier in the week I made several lists including what AdvoCare supplements I would use on race day, as well as what would be in my gym bag, how to set up the transition, and what I would use in T1 (transition from swim to bike) and T2 (transition from bike to run). The lists helped me calm down and better prepare for race day.

I wasn't really nervous until I was in line for the swim start. It didn't really help that a traffic issue somewhere in the course delayed the race start by almost 40 minutes. Fortunately I started chatting with some of the people around me and made some more new friends! I finished the swim and ran to the transition area to start the bike portion. The cold air hit and it was a foreshadow of the rest of the race!

The bike went really well. It was a very pretty route through Ft. Ben with slight changes in elevation, but nothing extremely steep and long. I was glad I put in some time before the race getting used to shift changes on my bike. Made the race much easier. Same with grabbing my water bottle while riding and taking a drink without stopping or slowing down.

The final discipline - the 5K - really kicked my butt, but was great. I wasn't sure of the route at first, but found it soon enough. I was very surprised at how much of the 5K I was actually able to run! I probably ran about 1/3 of that part, if you call the hobbling I was doing running, that is! As I mentioned earlier, the last 3/4 of a mile or so I was in last place. When I finally approached the finish line the medical golf cart switched out for a police motorcycle that turned his sirens on as I got closer! I have to say, it was really cool to have an entourage following me to the finish line! I crossed the finish line and stopped moving and that's when everything started to hurt! Especially my chest as I had been heaving what felt like ice cold air for the better part of the last 2 hours!

A year ago, finishing dead last would have really bothered me, but not this weekend. I set out to finish, and I finished strong!

My final times were as such: Swimming 350m - 13:33 | Biking 11mi - 49:04 | Running 5K - 48:10.  Total time (including transitions) - 1:56:46.

Those times may not seem all that impressive to some, but I'm pretty proud of it! My goal for the next spring tri is to improve each of those times and finish even stronger. It's also to let people know it's possible! I think a lot more people have the ability to do triathlons than actually do them. They let their fear of the unknown keep them squarely in their comfort zone instead of stepping out, which is where the magic really happens!

Sprint Triathlon

The trainer at work, who is also one of my friends, suggested I do a Sprint Triathlon after I completed my first 5K.  I thought, what the heck?  Why not?  I've never done anything like that before but it sounds like fun, so let's try it!  Which brings us to today.  In about an hour, I will be leaving home to set up the transition area and compete in my first sprint tri!

This week I've been crazy nervous and doing everything I can to prepare for it.  I've gone over each of the three disciplines in my head and the transition from swim to bike and from bike to run in my head too many times to count.  Still though, I'm sure it will be nothing like I've visualized because I've never even seen a triathlon transition on screen or in person.  I've packed my gym back with a towel, socks, my helmet, extra hair ties, body glide, gold bond powder, 5 water bottles and, of course, lots and lots of AdvoCare!  I'm sure it's a little bit of an overkill for a sprint tri, but I'm okay with that.  I'd rather be over prepared than under prepared.

Why so many water bottles do you ask?  Earlier this month, I ran a 5K in Indy and made the mistake of not hydrating enough after the race was over and for the rest of the day, even though I ran/walked well, I felt like crap!  So today, the theme is over-preperation!

I am nervous about this race, but I'm excited too.  I've never done anything like this.  I've never even swam or biked competetively, and I would hardly call my 5K races competative.  My goal today is not to win, however.  Or even to be a formitable force on the course.  No.  My goal is to finish, and have fun while I do it.  I've trained, and read, and watched videos and done everything I knew to do to prepare for today, so now, I'm going to fuel up, and have fun!

See you at the finish line!

Gotta have enough to sample too!

Insecurity on the Ultimate Field

Sometimes I wonder if I will ever outgrow the insecurity I had as an overweight girl.  People who know me know how far I've come and I know how far I've come.  There are days that I'm painfully aware of how far I have yet to go but having goals and milestones in place help me brake that down into smaller, more manageable steps.  Most recently, over the summer I had several glaring moments of insecurity when I was around people who DIDN'T know the changes I've made this last year.

Over the summer I played Ultimate Frisbee with the Indy Summer League.  I've played frisbee for many years just casually, but this was the first time I played in an organized league.  Through the whole summer, and especially the first few weeks, I learned that there's A LOT of organization and structure to the game beyond just staying open and catching the disc.  I felt like a fish out of the water for a good first two-thirds of the summer.

Added to my lack of knowledge about the structure of the game, was the fact that I was, by far, the biggest, and least athletic person on the field.  If you know nothing about Ultimate, it's very similar to soccer, football, and basketball and it involves running and sprinting around a field, chasing a frisbee, for usually about 2 hours.  It's a game of speed, and precision, and most people that play are EXTREMELY fit.

No one in the league had ever met me before the first game.  They didn't know that I had lost a lot of weight in the months prior to joining.  They didn't know how much I had grown and changed, or how far outside my comfort zone I was.  All they saw was an obese girl who didn't know anything about the game and couldn't keep up with even the slowest player on the other team.

Very soon into the first game, my team saw that I wasn't your typical overweight girl trying sports for the first time in her life, and as the season went on, they saw how hard I tried and how much I pushed myself on the field.  I feel like I gained a lot of their respect, and in the process I made a lot of new friends that I look forward to seeing this winter in the winter league, and next summer as well..

Don't be afraid to take risks.  Know that if you're a bigger person, when you go to the gym and you feel like you stick out like a sore thumb, just know there are two types of people at the gym.  The first kind don't notice anyone but themselves and how good or bad they are doing.  They don't really care about what other people around them are doing and are totally focused on their own workout.  The other kind see you and know how uncomfortable you feel, and are cheering you on in their head.  Once in a while they may come up and give you a high-five!