I'm a Big girl

My story is still being written.

I'm still a big girl.  I say that with the qualification that I don't think of myself as a 'fat girl'. 

I used to think of myself as a fat girl, but no more, because a fat girl thinks she will never become something different.  A fat girl is insecure and tries to hide from the world. 

A big girl knows she has limits, but pushes them.  She is always trying new things and is stepping out of her comfort zone.  She knows that she may not be able to do everything she wants to do, or what she sees other people do, but she knows that if she keeps pushing and keeps persisting she will be able to. 

She knows the title of "Big Girl" is only temporary... if she keeps fighting.  If she stops fighting, she knows she'll regress to "Fat Girl".  She knows that she's either moving forward, or she's slipping backwards. 

There is no standing still.

I used to be a fat girl.  I'm not sure when I made the transition to a big girl, or how much longer I'll be a big girl.  All I know is that I have been given much grace and God has proven very faithful in keeping me moving forward.  He has provided more for me than I can ever imagine and one of my favorite gifts he's given me, specifically relating to my health, is the ability to pay it forward and help others do the same.

My story is still being written, and I want to help you write yours.

A Hard Truth

I have good news and I have bad news.

I don't usually like to do this, because I like to end things on a positive note, but I'm going to start with the good news.  Don't worry, however, I'll pick things up again before we're done!

Weight update: 299 pounds!  Down 67 since September when I first did the 24 Day Challenge and my health/fitness journey took a huge turn for the better!  I can't say how much all the help, encouragement, and support has carried me through times I wanted to give up.  People on this blog, people on facebook, twitter, and in person have all given me support in one way or another and it's my hope that I can pay it forward and be an inspiration to others to meet their goal!

Also, I completed a 5K a few weeks ago!  On May 19th, I did the Geist 5K in 51:25!  I did not run the entire thing, which I'm fine with, I knew I wasn't at the level just yet, but I ran a little of each kilometer, and finished, which were my goals.  My dad did it with me, and even though I know he could have run the entire 5K fairly easily, he stayed back with me, which helped a lot.  It was a great experience, and I'm looking forward to doing more, and completing a half/sprint triathlon before the year is out.

Now for the bad news.

One of the most common excuses I hear for people not exercising is that they don't have time.  I'm here to say bullcrap.  That's hard for many people to hear, and honestly, that's hard for me to say, because I know I fall into that boat a lot.  More so recently than for a while, and I also know that several people who read this blog have told me that's the reason they don't work out as well.  (If you're one of them, believe, me you're not alone!)  I understand being busy.  Believe me, I do.  And I understand being exhausted after working all day either at a job, or at home with your kids.  It's tiring.  Life is tiring.  But the fact of the matter is this: You either need to make time for health/wellness/fitness now, or make time for illness/health issues later.  I know it's an old adage, but it really is true.  Another common quote I hear is this: If it's important, you will make happen, if it's not you'll make an excuse.

I hate to be the barer of bad news, I really do, but the bottom line is that we make time for what is a priority.  We make time for what's important.

Something else to keep in mind, at the end of the day, the choices you made as far as activity, mind set, nutrition, and so on, are all on you.  It's on you whether you eat good food, or eat crap.  It's on you whether you worked out or not, and how hard you worked out.  It's on you if you decided to fill your brain with lies and dark thoughts as opposed to truth.  That being said, it's impossible to shift your thinking and your lifestyle into something dramatically different without a strong support team helping you.  If the people you're surrounded with don't encourage you to better yourself, surround yourself with different people.

Now to lighten things up a bit!

I wanted to do this as soon as I broke the 300lb mark, but it looks like it will be a little bit longer.  Maybe I'll say this will be the celebration marking 100lbs lost using AdvoCare products!  I want to have a huge cookout (with only yummy, healthy foods) at my house!  There are a few reasons for this, one, I want to party!  Not to sound arrogant, but breaking 300 pounds, and also losing 100 pounds is a big deal and something I want to make a big deal of.  At the same time, I know there are people who need to lose 10, 20, 30, 40lbs... and so on, and some even more than I do, but don't believe they can.  I want to show them they can, and I want to show them how!  Anyone who's local is invited, and if you're not local, maybe it will be an excuse for a road trip!  I hope to see all you're faces at some point!

What's your biggest hurdle when trying to get healthy and what can you do to overcome that hurdle?

Adding on Layers

I've come a long way since starting my weight loss journey, but there's still a long way to go.  I'm getting ready for my first race in less than a month (Geist 5K on May 19th!  Ack!), and I'm continuing to monitor and be intentional about my eating habits, and work-out routine.  I've found that there's still a major gap in the swiss cheese that is my fitness journey, so over the next few weeks, while I'm continuing to be intentional about what I'm already doing, I'm going to add a layer of action!

My schedule at work has changed to all early shifts, which is great for me, because I have my evenings free to work out, cook, read, spend time with friends, reconnect with people and so on.  What's not great is that I have to get up really early 5 days a week.  I'm still trying to break my night-owl habits and get a solid 8 hours of sleep per night, but I like to try to fit in too many things in too few hours and get to bed waaaaay too late.

Sleep is when the body and the mind rests and recovers and without sufficient sleep, recovery is not possible, which makes the next day that much harder!  I'm really working on being more efficient about my time, so that I can get the sleep I need and be able to function the way I should during the day.  It's my dream to be able to pour into people and encourage and help them in their own goals, and I just can't do that if I have nothing to give because I'm not giving myself enough rest.

On another note, I'm am VERY close to being below 300lbs for good.  You really have no idea how close, suffice to say is right on the cusp.  Official weight update later!  Once I do break the 300lb mark I will be hosting a huge cookout at my house, with lots of lean healthy food and games/sports to play, that I want as many people to come to as possible!  Originally I planned on having it the Saturday after I broke that threshold, but the next few Saturdays are all booked up, so it will probably be a little longer, but still, it's coming!  Get excited because I am and I can't wait to see people there!

Fighting Through a Plateau

I haven't written on here in a while because there hasn't really been much to write about.  I lost 55 pounds in the span of 5 months, which is great, but in the past month and a half or so, the weight is still coming off, but MUCH slower.  I went about a month without losing anything, then I lost two pounds in two days!  I'm not extremely worried though, because I was still running harder and farther, and my clothes were still getting looser, which tells me that I'm still losing inches and making progress, which is TOTALLY fine with me!

From the very beginning of my weight-loss endeavors, I've told myself that the number on the scale isn't a big deal.  Granted, it's something that's very easily measurable, so it's a great gauge to see if progress is being made, but it's not something I want to get wrapped up in or obsessed with.  I don't have weight goal, per se, that I'm working towards.  I figure that once I run my first marathon (actually, probably long before that!) I'll be at a healthy weight!

I think another reason that my weight loss has hit a plateau is because my birthday was last week, so I let myself eat more junk food than I've let myself eat in a long time!  I felt like crap afterwards, but since then, it's been harder to resist the cake, cookies, ice cream, french fries, and other foods I used to indulge in.  Goes to reinforce my earlier post about craving what you eat.  I've had to discipline myself much more lately, to say no to those things so I don't fall into my old habits again.

Later tonight I'm going to take measurements again with my mom to check progress in that area, so there may be another update (with pictures?) later tonight!

I'm also due for another Cleanse soon, which is the first 10 days of the 24 Day Challenge.  Ever since my first one in September, I've stayed on the Max Phase, which includes several supplements that have made me feel incredible, recover faster, and have more energy in general, throughout the day.  It's recommended that we do a Cleanse about every 90 days, and that mark is coming up.  I'm really excited because there have been several friends that have expressed interest in doing one with me, so I think there will be a group of us doing one together!  I know I'm super pumped to see the results that everyone else experiences on the Challenge and hear about how great everyone feels!  More people are still coming to me saying they'd like to do it too, so it's not too late to join the party if you, or someone you know may be interested!

Another reason I haven't written in a while is because I don't know what you all want to read about!  I know I get the most feedback on here from weight updates, which is incredibly encouraging to me and I love it, but I also want to be an encouragement and help to you, in whatever goals you may have, so if there's something you want to read more about, please let me know!  That's the whole reason I started this blog!

Excuses

It's always interesting to hear people's reasons for not working out.  Not that I am an exception to that statement, I think at one point or another I've used every excuse in the book, and I still fight that inclination.  I was talking to a friend a while ago about something totally different, but the topic of excuses came up, and reasons why people don't do things they want to, or should do.  She didn't call it an excuse, however.  She called it a hurdle.  Over the past few days, I've thought a lot about her words, and how a mind set change as simple as the verbiage you use, can make a tremendous difference!

An excuse is something that keeps you from doing something you want to do, or you should do.  It's usually something that seems impossible to break through.  A hurdle is something you jump over to get where you are going.  It's more difficult than a simple straight path and requires more effort, but it's still possible to get over.  Hurdles can vary in size.  Some are very small and you can get over them with a small hop.  Others are more like huge brick walls that require scaling.  Regardless of the size, it's still a hurdle, not an excuse.

One thing I realized the other day, is that the larger hurdles, especially, are MUCH easier to get over if you know what they are.  If you name them.  Finding out exactly what that hurdle is requires active problem solving.  It takes more than just sitting and looking at the hurdle.  You can't get over it if all you do is think about it.  It takes trying to jump over it, maybe even falling back to the ground with a few bumps and bruises to figure out what it is.  But each time you smack into it and fall down again, you're closer to breaking through that hurdle.  Once you figure out exactly what it is you will know exactly what's required to conquer it.  Now, granted, you might not figure out what it is until after you get over it, and look back in hindsight, but even then, you can still use that knowledge to overcome hurdles you'll face in the future.

Hurdles, like taxes and change, will always be present, no matter what you're working towards.  There is never a perfect circumstance to get something done.  Whatever is preventing you from doing what you want to do now, will still be there next week, next month, and next year.  If anything the longer you wait to start something, the more hurdles you'll have to overcome.  What's keeping you?

Loathe Self Loathing

The past weekend I was able to go to Ft. Worth, Texas and spend some time with some incredible people and be poured into, inspired and motivated!  Energy permeated the air the entire weekend and I felt excited and more alive this weekend than I have in a long time!  It was hard for me to sit still at times because I just wanted to jump up and down!  That feeling continued when I got home and stepped on the scale again!

I'm down to 313 pounds, which means that since doing the 24 Day Challenge in September, I've lost 53 pounds!  Hitting the 50lb mark was a pretty big milestone for me and for the rest of the day, I had to restrain myself from bragging and talking about it too much!  53 pounds!  That's more than 5 large (10lb) bags of potatoes!  Dang!  I want to lose another 50 pounds by this July, which is my sister's wedding and the next convention like the one I went to this past weekend!

One thing I wanted to talk about today is motivation.  My motivation early on in the journey, before I really started believing in myself, was self-loathing.  I hated who I was, and where I was in life.  I don't think there's a worse motivator out there.  For me, at least, it wasn't until I was truly okay with myself, and believed in myself, that I was able to make the necessary changes.  (That along with surrounding myself with positive people who consistently encouraged me!)

Getting healthy is a long hard journey for a lot of people.  You have to be mentally and physically ready to make the massive lifestyle changes.  You have to have a support system of more than just a few friends.  And your motivation canNOT be self-hatred.  You have to believe you're worth the effort it takes to get healthy.

I am so blessed to have an amazing support network consisting of my family, my church, and all my friends I've met thanks to AdvoCare!

So now, it's time for a more solid, more tangible goal:  this Spring, I'm thinking March/April, I want to run a 5K!  Now, when I say run, I know I'm not going to be able to run the entire 5K, but I want to run a significant portion of it, and complete one!  I would LOVE to get a group of people together to do one together, so if you're local, and interested, hit me up!  Let's make this happen together!

You Crave What you Eat

I always thought it was weird that people would tell you to eat what you crave when you're trying to lose weight because I have always craved junk food!  They always said that your body craves what it needed, so I thought, for years, "Hey!  My body craves french fries and copious amounts of salt!!!!!"  Yeah... no.  My weakness for junk food was so bad that the first time I did the 24-Day Challenge you all have heard me rave about, on the 2nd day of the Cleanse Phase, (when you're supposed to be eating SUPER clean foods!) I went across the street to Hardee's and bought a burger and french fries for lunch!  BAD IDEA!!!!!!!!!!!  My friend who was helping me with the cleanse called me out on it and challenged me to go the rest of the challenge without eating fast food.  He claimed that by the end of it, I wouldn't miss it at all.  I absolutely did not believe him!  At the time I was eating fast food 3 to 5 times a week, and had a serious Taco Bell addiction, on top of my addition to french fries.  No wonder I couldn't seem to lose weight!  But, I did what he said.  I cut out soda, and fast food for the rest of the challenge, and now, 4 months later, I haven't touched it, and I don't miss it!

What I learned during that time, and what's been proven to me time and time again since then is that you crave what you put into your body.  If you put junk, and crap and tons of salt and sugar in  your body, you will crave junk and crap and tons of salt and sugar.  If you start eating good, healthy foods, whole wheats, fruits and veggies, nuts, lean meats and other sources of protein, the thought of deep-frying something, or dousing it with oils and fats is almost revolting!

I know this sounds simple and too good to be true, and granted, there are days that I still crave junk food, but those days are getting fewer and farther between!  When I do eat junk food now, I eat a little bit and I'm satisfied with it.  Either that, or I feel like crap afterwards and never want it again (such is the case with pizza rolls, for example!)

All in all, I know how hard it is to start eating healthy, but it does get easier as you do it more!  Keep charging forward and do not give up!